I Am in the Oven - Or, God is Making Me Stronger

If you read my post from yesterday, you will know what I mean. God is putting me to the test. You will also know that there was a chance the surgery would be postponed. So, I went in today, and here is the story.

Disclaimer: I have purposely been vague about the numbers in all of my posts. I am not  proud of what my weight was, or even what it is now. Someday, I may share that information, but not today. Today we will stick to BMI, which is bad enough.)

In order to safely have this procedure done, a person should have a BMI of 55 or lower. On my first visit to Dr. Penson, my BMI was 64. Yep. That's not a typo. That was in late June 2013. On my visit on 2/5/14, it was down to 58. Big change. But not big enough. So, today, I went in for a weight check, and I was at 57. I need to lose 19 more pounds before he wants to do the surgery. This is for my health. That will put me at a BMI of 54, which will increase the safety of the surgery greatly. I had the option of changing the date until March 25, only 4 weeks. And I could have done that. However, Dan and I talked, and we think it will be better to wait until I am out of school for the summer. It will be easier in arranging people to take care of the kids, and it will be less of a financial burden. So, June 3 it is.

Yes, I have cried. And cried. And cried. I will probably continue to cry for a while. I am horribly disappointed. But I also have peace. It is the peace that passes understanding. I thought I would be a basket case. But I'm not. This is in God's hand. I learned last night - He will not forsake me. He has been with since the get-go, and He is with me now. I may not be 100% pleased with his plans, but I am ok.

I have said for the last several months that if I was told I could not have the surgery, I would continue with the lifestyle changes and taking care of myself. So I will do that now. And it is NOT cancelled. It is postponed.

That said, please keep praying for me. I am probably going to have a few ups and downs for a while.

However, I want to post my positives. In the bariatric surgery world these are called NSVs (Non-Scale Victories)

1. I only have 1 pair of pants that fit. Everything else is too big. (I may have to buy a pair or 2 to make it to June!)
2. I have lost 2.5 inches from my waist, and 3.5 from my hips. 
3. I have learned to enjoy exercise and movement. 
4. I have quit drinking sodas. (My goal is to remain soda-free. I may have one occasionally, but I won't buy them to keep at the house.
5. And last, but NOT least, I am so much closer to God than I was 9 months ago when I started this journey. And that is what its about, right. Growing closer to God.