Permissable, But Not Beneficial

Hello, dear friends! This post is a little different for me. As a part of my weight loss journey, I have been praying. I know, I know - Praying to lose weight? Really? Does God care about that? Well, yes. I believe He does. So do a lot of other women. You see, I am participating (1st time ever) in an Online Bible Study through Proverbs 31 Ministries. We are reading a book called Made to Crave.

Well, last summer, when I decided I thought I wanted to lose weight, I bought this book on my Nook. And I read the first few chapters. It was great. I loved the idea. I CLUNG to a verse I read:

I Corinthians 10:23 “Everything is permissible,” but not everything is helpful. “Everything is permissible,” but not everything builds up. 

Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial. Hmmmm.....So, that Snickers is permissible, but is it beneficial? Probably not. Those delicious cookies my sweet friend brought me from Rosie's....They are permissible, but are they beneficial? No, not for me. It totally changed my way of looking at things. I was no longer "denying" myself anything. I was allowing myself to choose. And did I always make the best choice? Uh - NO!!!! Did I always make the wrong (unhealthy) choice... No. I started making better choices, and then I was #EMPOWERED!!!! If I could resist once, I could do it again. 

On the flip side - I would say "It is permissible for me to sit here and watch Judge Judy and Dr. Phil all afternoon, but is it beneficial?" No. "It is permissible for me to stay home from the gym because it is cold, but is that beneficial?" No. So, just like I said before, I started making healthier choices. 

Now - Please understand, this was not easy, nor was it done by myself. I did not have the strength to follow through, but God provided it. He has provided me with opportunities for wellness. (My job pays for me to be a member of our Wellness Center). He has provided me with the courage to attend classes I never thought I would be able to do, and to go alone. He has provided me with the physical strength/motivation to push myself. He has provided me with a supportive family. He has provided me with a wonderful Christian friend who teaches one of my favorite classes. He has provided Christian fellowship and friendship with others in those classes. So, the least I can do is to say, "I know this is permissible, but is it beneficial?

So, months after purchasing the book, I see on Facebook, of all places, that there is going to be an OBS on this book, and I couldn't resist...Because, you see, God provided it. He provided it now, knowing that I need it before the surgery. He provided it now, to remind me that the surgery is not a "quick fix," but only a tool. And if I continue to crave improper things, I won't be successful with my weight loss. He provided it now, so that I may ask others to pray for me as I go through this journey.

"All things are permissible, but is this Bible study beneficial?" Yes. Yes a thousand times! 

Praise God!!!

A Little History

This is my story. Well, part of my story anyway. This is my weight loss story. Which will begin with my weight gain story.  

I am 38 years old (for a few more weeks, anyway!), and I cannot remember a time in my life where my weight was NOT an issue. My earliest memories involve  a lot of "husky" jeans, uncomfortable jackets, and being teased about being "chunky." In the third grade I weighed over 100 pounds. Of course, my mom was concerned, and tried to limit my diet choices. There were no Fruit Loops or Cap'n Crunch for me. In fact, I am STILL anti-sugary cereal! I ate Rice Krispies, Total, turkey sandwiches and apples, grilled fish and broccoli. Diet Pepsi has been my drink of choice for 20+ years. There have been times in my life when I was not as big. But I was still above an average size. Over the years, my weight has gradually creeped higher and higher. Maybe I should say "jumped" instead of "creeped."

Earlier this year, the scale hit a number that scared me. I went to see my fabulous physician. She very bluntly told me that I needed to lose at lest 50 pounds, because if anything happened to me that required surgery, there was a good possibility I would not survive. Wow. At 38? SCARY! Then, the school district I work for struck a deal with the local Wellness Center, and school employees were only required to pay a $50 registration fee, and we would receive a free membership. I joined in March, but wasn't really active then. School, kids, and lack of motivation got in my way.

In June, when I was out of school, I started making myself a priority. I took the kids to the gym with me. I started cooking healthier. I picked better snacks, and started logging my food on my Weight Watchers app. Guess what... I lost a little weight. It was slow, but I was feeling better. I was going to the gym at least 3 days/week. My resting heart rate decreased. My endurance increased. I started to ENJOY myself at the gym. (I know, right? I thought that was myth!). I was miserable if I didn't get to go workout. I had a certain friend who encouraged me to participate in an actual CLASS! Piyo. Yeah. Me, super, morbidly, obese. Doing piyo. I had to modify, but I did it. I was proud of myself. I started to think....maybe I can change? Maybe???

Then, I saw the billboard. My insurance now paid for bariatric surgery. Hmm...This was something I had always been opposed to. It was the easy way out. It caused lots of potential health problems. My doctor had said I weighed too much for surgery. But maybe? I had made some changes? Maybe I needed to inform myself so that I could say I had investigated it firsthand, and decided against it.

So I called. What? You mean I have to go to a CLASS before I can even see the doctor? This is a joke! Unreal! Well, the class is in the next few days. Maybe I should go. Hmm....There are new procedcures? Procedures that don't alter your digestive path? (No bypass). Maybe I should talk to someone. But, there are SOOOOO many hoops to jump through? Do I want this? I am starting to have some hope. Just a glimmer, but it was there. So, I do a little research. Decide on which surgery option I am interested in, and call for an appointment with the surgeon.

I go to the first appointment in July. I talk to the doctor. It seems that most people who opt for this surgery have a lot in common with me. They are educated women who have struggled their entire lives with weight, and they are tired of it. They want to be healthy, and live. So, I ask my questions, and begin the process. I am on way to a vertical sleeve gastrectomy (VSG).

Now, months later, I have jumped through the hoops. I have seen a hemotologist, a gynecologist, a psychiatrist, and a nutritionist. I have changed my diet and successfully lost 40#. And I will be seeing my surgeon and hopefully scheduling my surgery in 9 days. That little glimmer of hope is growing. I have actually told a few people this week about my surgery, and I decided I would like to share this with you. Because without you, I won't be successful. I am so thankful for the support I have received from y'all! Thank you. Thank you all!