God Speaks Through Social Media

"God speaks through social media?" Jolie has lost her ever-loving mind. I can hear you all saying that. I don't disagree. But He did speak to me today in several ways, and I can't wait to share it with you! God is awesome! (Sung to the tune of "Everything is Awesome" from The Lego Movie).

Back-story - I am having a small flare up of the cellulitis that put me in the hospital 2 years ago. So, I had to go to the doctor for some antibiotics today. While I was waiting 2 things happened.

1. I was on Facebook, and I saw this post from The Praying Woman - "Your stumbling block will become your stepping stone. Watch God turn it around." Wow. Pretty profound. That really touched my heart. 
2. The AWESOME nurse practitioner at my doctor's office came out to the waiting room to chat with me while I waited. (We bonded during that fateful incident 2 years ago - see above). Well, as I was talking to her about my weight loss and exercise, I told her about the book Made to Crave, and referenced my favorite verse - 1 Corinthians 10:23 - Everything is permissible, but not all things are beneficial. I explained how that had really freed my soul to food, because it showed that I CAN eat what I want, but it might not be beneficial to me. 

Then, I saw the doctor, and talked to her about my journey and the Bible Study, got my prescriptions (and a pat on the back for the weight loss), and went back to work.

But I just kept thinking about that statement from Facebook. God could use my stumbling block for a stepping stone? Hmmm...Then I realized. God IS USING my STUMBLING BLOCK as a STEPPING STONE! Yes. Food is my stumbling block. Lack of self-control is my stumbling block. But through this journey, God has used it to teach me things about myself I never would have known. And not only that - Now I have a way to tell people how God has worked in my life. I have never been one who felt "worthy" to talk about God a lot. But, today, I shared how God has worked in my life with 3 women. And didn't bat an eye. I was so excited to list all of the changes in my life, and that the main thing I have done differently this time is to include God in the journey.

Then, I was browsing around on Pinterest, and saw this:

Wow. Isn't that essentially what God had told me earlier? Don't be ashamed of that stumbling block, use it as a stepping stone on how HE has made a difference.

Finally, I started reading my new book, A Heart Like His, by Beth Moore. It is a study of the life of David. And I journaled pages and pages about that, let me tell you! But the gist of chapter 1 was this: God CHOSE David. It was not a coincidence. It was purposeful. He chose a lowly shepherd to lead His people. And God chose me. I have always believed God chose me to be a speech pathologist, because I absolutely adore my profession! But maybe God chose me for something else. Maybe He chose me to have the weight problem, so that I can witness to others in the same place. That lonely, empty, forlorn place where you think there is no hope. Because there is hope. I am living proof (and 50+ pounds less of living proof). Last March, I would have NEVER seen myself here. It was God's plan, and God's strength.

That said, I am going to leave you with some throwback music.  All this talk of God choosing David reminded me of one of my favorite songs from my youth. Here is a little Ray Boltz and "Shepherd Boy."

Blessings to you, my friends!

Miles and miles

Happy Spring Break, friends! This is morning #2, and I am NOT lighting the world on fire like I had planned today! You see, there is something about not being in school that makes me want to stay up all night reading and sleep all day. So, yes, I stayed up late reading last night. I got up with good intentions on going to the Wellness Center prior to starting my day, but...It didn't happen. Now I am procrastinating a shower. If it were not for horrible roots, and the need for some love from the world's best hairdresser, I would be going back to bed!

Now, for a brief word about my title today. Last night, I went to the Wellness Center a little frustrated. I overslept yesterday and missed Aqua Zumba, which we all know I love. Then, I fell victim to the time change, forgot to change the clock in my van, and missed my aqua aerobics at 5:30. Continuing on with the theme of the day, Dan and I had a miscommunication, and it ended up being late when I went to the gym. And I was a "little" frustrated when I got there. But I didn't let that stop me. I used it to my advantage, got on that treadmill, and walked! And Walked! And Walked some more. 2 miles. Now, I know for a lot of my friends, you are just warming up in 2 miles. But this was the first time I ever did it. It was a little over 3k, and I have a goal of walking a 5k. I didn't really set a time frame, but now I actually feel like that goal is in reach! Maybe GumTree? I don't know, though. I am still VERY apprehensive about doing it. It might take me 40 forevers to finish!

Oh - And FYI -

83 Days Until Surgery!!!

A Week Later

Well, I should be 1 week post-op now, and it didn't happen. Oh well. In His time not mine. The past few weeks have been rough on me. I have had a pity party, and jumped off the wagon with both feet. Well, not both feet, but I did have a cupcake at school last week when a sweet boy wanted to share. And I did succumb to a Diet Pepsi or 2 over the weekend. But, I didn't buy any to bring home, and I drank them in moderation.

Today, I had a little time to do some catch-up reading on my Made To Crave book. (I had gotten a wee bit behind.) Guess what. I realized what has been wrong with me this past week or so. I haven't been reading and studying the Bible. I haven't been praying. I guess I was having a little passive-aggressive disagreement with God. Because I am NOT happy about waiting. I am doing it, but I don't like it. And oh boy, did God open my eyes and step on my toes today! They are ALL bruised up!

Now, I have had the hardest time ever figuring out how to "study" the Bible, and this book. Seriously. (Yeah, I know - Master's degree and doesn't know how to "study the Bible.") Well, I finally decided that for me it would work best to study it like I would anything else. Reading, and taking notes on what I read. So, I found this fun little on-line journal (penzu.com). There's even an app for it. And I have been reading and journaling, especially throughout the Made to Crave book study. So, tonight I am going to share a few things I found VERY important in my reading. Lysa Terkeurst really has some awesome insights into this whole eating thing!

Chapter 13: Overindulgence
Now, let me preface this by saying if you are a Baptist (or any other Southern denomination), you may get your toes stepped on here. She talked about gluttony in the church. What, you say? Gluttony in the church? Yep. The pot-luck meal where we stuff ourselves. You know, the one that is best on Sunday after church. That one. But she also talks about overindulgence in anything (food, alcohol, etc.) is gluttony. Proverbs 23:20 -21 says, "Do not join those who drink too much wine or gorge on themselves on meat, for drunkards and gluttons become poor, and drowsiness clothes them in rags." Well, FYI - This was me. I gorged. And guess what. Not because I was hungry, but because I was looking for something to fill myself up because I was spiritually empty.

So, with that said, what do we do? Food is not alcohol or nicotine. I can't quit cold-turkey. It is a requirement. With that said, Lysa reminded me of the Isrealites. Remember them? We studied about them in Truth Trackers earlier this year. The Isrealites, who complained of slavery, so God set them free. Then, they complained because they were hungry, and God provided them with the manna from heaven? Well, if you go back and read in Exodus 16, you will see that God commanded the Isrealites to only gather enough manna for one day. The only day they could gather more was the day before the Sabbath, then they could gather two days worth of manna. Well, these complainers started gathering as much as they could, even though it was provided fresh for them every day. (Can you imagine - no grocery stores? Just walking outside and picking up what you needed to eat? Not a horrible situation!) But I digress. Anyway, so they are gathering up all of this manna, and you know what happened? It rotted. Moldy, nasty manna. When there was all they could eat provided fresh for them each day. Now, why did this happen? Well, today's reading really opened my eyes. God wanted them to learn to depend on Him DAILY. God will provide DAILY what we need. Not go to church on Sunday, gather what we can, and spread it out through the week. God wants us to need Him, Want him, and desire Him DAILY.  In Lamentations 3:22 it says, "Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for HIS compassions NEVER fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness, I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; there I will wait for him."

 Hmmm....The Lord is my portion. My portion of love. My portion of food. My portion of everything I need. I need portion control, and God is there to provide it for me. All I have to do is ask and trust. I saw this on Pinterest today, and I really thought it summed this up:

 

He is my portion! He will provide the self control!

Blah, blah, blah

Well, I have really felt like I should post every night this week, but I actually don't have much to say. Nothing funny, or cute, or even interesting. In fact, I feel blah this week. I think it is a little depression, and some leftover disappointment.

Now, I KNOW that the timing will be better in June. I KNOW this in my heart of hearts, but when I saw that countdown calendar on my clock go from 5 days to 100+ days, a little bit of my heart broke. Well, cracked, anyway. Not broken. I just have to find my "get up and go" again.

I woke up yesterday, and asked Dan if I could call into work "disappointed." We didn't think that would fly, so I went on in. However, I didn't even make it to my room before Sadie got sick. She had a migraine, and it snowballed. We ended up at the doctor, and then the imaging center for a head CT, then the eye doctor. Yeah, she needs glasses now! So, no, I didn't have time for surgery and kids and school all at once.

I also have just physically not been 100% this week. My feet are swelling, and I haven't had that happen in a long time! And I can't figure out why, because all I drink is water and the occasional protein shake. (FYI - I have been drinking at least 90 ounces of water a day!) I have not given in and had a Diet Pepsi! That is a victory this week. 

Anyway, I am taking a few "sad" days, but I am still trying to watch what I am eating. I am tossing around a few ideas to kick-start this next 20 pounds. I CAN do this. I WILL do this. I MUST do this. (Can you tell, that is my pep-talk for me?)

Thanks for reading my pity-party tonight. I'll try to do better next time!

FYI - Per my countdown calendar, it is 96 days until my surgery! Yay!!!

Have a blessed week.

A Totally Different Plan

Well, I sit here tonight with a full belly. (Well, it ought to be full, I ate my dinner. But as Sadie and Katniss Everdeen say, this is an "empty day." This is so not where I thought I would be a week ago. I envisioned myself packed up for surgery, getting ready to have a day of clear liquids and antibiotics, not writing lesson plans and getting lunches ready for school. But things change. It is is God's time, not mine.

That being said, this post is probably going to be a little scattered, as there are several things I want to touch on.

1. Friday afternoon, we took the kids and went to dinner very early. Like, 4:00 p.m. As soon as I got out of school. We went to Outback, and it was great! When we were leaving, we ran into my oldest friend and her family (mother, sister, husband, father - all of them). It was great to take a few minutes and catch up. We were all leaving at the same time, and I just have to say I noticed the funniest thing. As I sat in my white mini-van, with my husband in a plaid shirt driving, with my daughter and son in the backseat, I watched my BFF from 4th grade through college pull out. In her white mini-van. With her husband in a plaid shirt driving. With her son and daughter in the backseat. Our friends from high school who all said we would grow up and live together would have never let us live that down!
(Random, I know, but funny in my world.)

2. Dan is really taking this "postponement" seriously. You see, I sent him a text on Thursday that basically said "No surgery. Take me out to eat somewhere bad." Well, he was here to be my strength this weekend. On Thursday night, he cooked me an egg white omelet for dinner. (I had asked for grilled cheese.) He did take me out on Friday, but we all ate sensibly. Then, on both Saturday and Sunday mornings he has made me healthy food. Friday, when he kissed me goodbye, he made me promise not to eat bad. So I promised. Then, I got to school and ate a sausage and biscuit. Oohhh...It was not nice. After egg whites and protein drinks for breakfast, that was too much. I was miserable all morning. (But I only drank a shake and ate some peanuts for lunch to make up for it!) I love that he is so encouraging to me! Even when I am a grumpy cat. I also love that he cooks me breakfast on the weekends. :)

3. A neat "God note:" Last Tuesday at school, one of my Lawndale mom-friends came by to bring me some protein powder and a hug of support,. Then, that Tuesday night, God placed a friend at the soccer field. We have not visited in ages, but got a nice visit in during the game. Then, on Wednesday, a few family members called just to check on me. People I haven't talked to in a while. At church Wednesday night, I was blessed to have a few minutes to talk to some friends about the surgery, and what was coming up. (You see, I believe God was showing me that He has placed people here to support me during this. He knew what was coming, even though I didn't.) Thursday, prior to making the "fateful trip" to the doctor, I called Dan, and he spoke sensibly to me about possibilities of rescheduling. Then, on Thursday afternoon, I found out that another acquaintance is going through the exact same thing, and is having to postpone her surgery as well. Then, he placed my "surrogate family" from childhood and I at the same restaurant on Friday afternoon. Friday night, I got to fellowship with some friends from church again, and received untold support. Saturday, another old friend contacted me. Coincidence? I think not. God is showing me that He has a plan. He is in control. He knew I would be down, and disappointed, so he provided me with a long list of godly women to be there as my support. Wow! All of that trouble for me!

4. One more random fact. As I was helping Jon Carter with his report on John F. Kennedy, we came to a mention of the James Meredith incident at Ole Miss. I vaguely remembered my Baby Dot talking about it at a gathering, but couldn't remember what she said. So, I called her, and she told me that my grandfather had been in the National Guard during that time, and that he had been sent to Ole Miss during the riots. (Those of you who know me, know that I am not a history buff, but that is cool to me.) She told me about him not having any ammunition in his guns, and having to just take the abuse from the protesters. She then also told me about his time in Korea. Here I am, 39 years old, learning new stories about my Granddaddy.

Have a great week guys! It will be a busy one for the Reids, as all "cancelled" activities are back on the schedule!

I Am in the Oven - Or, God is Making Me Stronger

If you read my post from yesterday, you will know what I mean. God is putting me to the test. You will also know that there was a chance the surgery would be postponed. So, I went in today, and here is the story.

Disclaimer: I have purposely been vague about the numbers in all of my posts. I am not  proud of what my weight was, or even what it is now. Someday, I may share that information, but not today. Today we will stick to BMI, which is bad enough.)

In order to safely have this procedure done, a person should have a BMI of 55 or lower. On my first visit to Dr. Penson, my BMI was 64. Yep. That's not a typo. That was in late June 2013. On my visit on 2/5/14, it was down to 58. Big change. But not big enough. So, today, I went in for a weight check, and I was at 57. I need to lose 19 more pounds before he wants to do the surgery. This is for my health. That will put me at a BMI of 54, which will increase the safety of the surgery greatly. I had the option of changing the date until March 25, only 4 weeks. And I could have done that. However, Dan and I talked, and we think it will be better to wait until I am out of school for the summer. It will be easier in arranging people to take care of the kids, and it will be less of a financial burden. So, June 3 it is.

Yes, I have cried. And cried. And cried. I will probably continue to cry for a while. I am horribly disappointed. But I also have peace. It is the peace that passes understanding. I thought I would be a basket case. But I'm not. This is in God's hand. I learned last night - He will not forsake me. He has been with since the get-go, and He is with me now. I may not be 100% pleased with his plans, but I am ok.

I have said for the last several months that if I was told I could not have the surgery, I would continue with the lifestyle changes and taking care of myself. So I will do that now. And it is NOT cancelled. It is postponed.

That said, please keep praying for me. I am probably going to have a few ups and downs for a while.

However, I want to post my positives. In the bariatric surgery world these are called NSVs (Non-Scale Victories)

1. I only have 1 pair of pants that fit. Everything else is too big. (I may have to buy a pair or 2 to make it to June!)
2. I have lost 2.5 inches from my waist, and 3.5 from my hips. 
3. I have learned to enjoy exercise and movement. 
4. I have quit drinking sodas. (My goal is to remain soda-free. I may have one occasionally, but I won't buy them to keep at the house.
5. And last, but NOT least, I am so much closer to God than I was 9 months ago when I started this journey. And that is what its about, right. Growing closer to God. 

Joshua, The Strong and Courageous Truth Tracker - LONG post!

I know - everyone wants to know what that title is about right? Well, here it goes. (FYI - This could be a long one!)

Last night, at the soccer field, I had a friend come up and give me hug. We started talking about the surgery, and how things were going, and I got a little teary-eyed. Well, we all know I take the crazy pill (Zoloft - not a MAJOR crazy pill, just a wee little one), and the crazy pill doesn't let me cry very much. I was surprised, by the tears. But I was also so blessed by this visit with Christe', because we just don't have time to hang out. She made my night, and promised to pray for me. Especially on Monday, the pre-surgery, massive-dose of antibiotics on a clear liquid diet, drink a bottle of laxative day. (As she pointed out, I will need a LOT of prayer intervention on that day!)

Then, I woke up tearful AGAIN this morning. Listening to the radio made me get teary, talking to the kids coming into school made me teary. Weird, right? Nothing emotional at all. So, I take my teary-eyed self on over to Tupelo High School, and when I pull up I hear the announcement to start dismissing for the Black History program. Well, fiddlesticks! Everyone on campus would be there. So, I was a little frustrated/annoyed/angry. Then, I went to the program, and was so touched. The speaker was awesome, and guess what - I was crying again! Well, then I had a student think it was fun to be silly and act a fool, so I lit into him! I was so mad, and he knew it. He got a good "talking to" from Mrs. Reid today!

Then, I maybe leveled out a little. I even smiled and laughed some. And headed on to NMMC for my pre-op appointment. (FYI - I was very impressed with the efficiency today!). Then, it was time for the after school rat-race. I picked up the kiddos, and Sadie was upset about school. Well, 5th grade has not been our best year, and she was more upset than I have seen her yet, so this time, I got angry AND cried! Off to allergy shots, then a quick trip to see Dan. All of this before 5:15, when it was time to go to church, where I am teaching the lesson. Yeah - the lesson I haven't even read yet. That one.

As I drive up, my phone rings, and it is Dr. Pinson's office. They want me to come in for another weight check tomorrow, because I my BMI is still a little higher than they really want it to be when they do the surgery. The nurse practitioner says we might have to postpone. All of this as I am sitting in the van in the church parking lot. Yep - you guessed it. I was crying again. This totally freaked me out. My mother-in-law has taken off work to come stay with the kids, Dan has taken off to be with me,  I have the house keeper coming, the insurance papers/FMLA papers are filled out, the pre-op is done. I am nearly through with my lists. I CANNOT postpone this surgery. I have made plans. (I guess the key word there is "I")

Now - to the title... (Background - our Wednesday night Bible study is called Truth Trackers). Tonight's lesson is on Joshua, the Strong and Courageous Truth Tracker. I start reading the lesson, and the tears start again. Tonight's verse was Joshua 1:9, "Be strong and courageous, do not be terrified. Do not be discouraged. For the Lord, your God, is with you wherever you go."
It seems that Joshua was scared (I am) and that God reminded him several times, "Be strong and courageous." Another verse that we talked about was Deuteronomy 31:6.  "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Wow. He will never forsake me. Hmm... Even if my surgery is changed, God won't forsake me. Nice thought. The analogy tonight was that of a cake (Really? Cake? And we had chocolate chip cookies for a snack. And I didn't eat a one!)

Cake Analogy: You have to follow a recipe, to make a "successful" cake.
Ingredients:
1. Cake Mix - The mix of the trinity. The cake mix consists of flour, sugar, and baking soda. 3 things. Like God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit.

2. Oil - the Anointing Oil of the Holy Spirit. You need oil to give the cake the right consistency. We need the anointing oil of the Holy Spirit to give us consistent direction and instruction.

3. Eggs- Wisdom. You need eggs to make the recipe stick together, otherwise you would end up with a flat mess. We need wisdom to complete God's tasks.

4. Water - Righteousness. The cake needs water. We need water. Water to wash away our sins, so that we can do what God asks of us.

5. Chocolate Chips - Trust. Chocolate chips look small, but they are what makes the cake special. We may feel small, but we make things special. We may not think we can do a mighty thing, but we have to trust God so that he can work through us.

6. Finally - All of these things are great. Mixed together, you have a great recipe. But it is not a cake yet. In order to become a cake, it must go through the hot oven. Just like us. Sometimes, God need us to go through the fire, the trials, in order to learn to trust Him.

In Romans 5:3-5, it says. "Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us."

Now, what does this "cake" have to do with me?  What about Joshua? He was called to lead the Israelites, not lose weight. Well, Joshua was strong. I think I am strong. Joshua was scared. Yeah, me too. And God promised not to leave Joshua. Well, He promised me that too. Joshua had to face the fire. And now, I am having to face the fire. God may not want this surgery to be on Tuesday. He has His reasons. As Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Key word there - God has plans. They are probably a little better than mine, as He knows my future, and I don't.

Now, that is not to say the surgery is cancelled or postponed. I just have to go in for another weight check tomorrow. I am praying that if he feels the surgery is safe, and that I have lost enough (or will, once I start the liquids), that things will go on as planned. But, I right now, the oven is on 350, and I am starting to bake. I will not let this derail me. God has brought me this far, He will take me the rest of the way. That said, I am going to say my prayers and go to sleep.

Oh, and another God thing - He has placed so many encouraging people in my path in the last 24 hours it is unbelievable! My phone has been ringing all day, and lots of texts of support. Oh, and my church friends, who let me vent and cry! Evidently, God placed me on some hearts today. Just one more way to praise Him! (Thanks, Audrey, Amy, Kerri, Atonya, and Terri). I am blessed. It will happen in His time, not mine. 

I will update again tomorrow, when I know more.