Losses and Losses

So, this post will possibly (ok, PROBABLY...yeah, yeah - DEFINITELY) be more scattered than usual. I haven't posted in a while, and I have a lot of questions to answer, and a few things I just want to share with you.

First - The title. You see, I have learned in the past 8 weeks that there are losses, and then there are LOSSES. Yes, there are losses on the scale (Hallelujah!), but you know what, there are a lot more losses too... Good ones, and not so good ones.

Not so good losses: (in no particular order)
#1.  I feel loss for Diet Pepsi. Yes, I KNOW that is stupid, but I do. There is the loss of being able to walk into a store and go right to "your drink." It stinks. I drink water now 95% of the time. But sometimes a girl needs something else, and water with lemon is lacking at times. I have found that I like purple G2, and the lemon Vitamin Water Zero, but I can never find them in a convenience store, so if you see me out with a cooler, please know I am BYOB'ing my G2 or water!

#2. I feel loss for eating as much as I want. This is a biggie. I didn't get to be my size by NOT loving food. I feel like I have always been pretty upfront about that. And they tell you that it can be an issue, but hearing and KNOWING are 2 different things. There are actually 2 aspects to this loss. First, there is the "I really like this and I want to eat more of it" side. I.e. - At Sunday brunch at KOK - I LOVED everything I ate. However, I was only able to eat 1-2 bites of each thing. And I was sad, disappointed, and a little mad. The Chinese buffet is torture, because who wants to eat 1 tiny piece of chicken, when there is A MILLION OTHER THINGS TO TRY! Second, there is the loss of actually eating. I know I only get a few bites every few hours, or I'll be sick, so I weigh my options very carefully. If I don't LOVE it, I don't want to eat it! Who wants to waist any of that 2 ounces on something that is just so-so? Not this girl, I tell you.

#3. I feel loss for meal times with my family. Dinner is an area I struggle with. I do pretty good most days, but at dinner, I don't always feel like eating. However, I have decided I am going to cook healthy and eat with my family. But, it really isn't "fun" to eat anymore. I have to force myself to sit at the table after I finish eating. In fact, they are occasionally still trying to get seconds when I am already up clearing the table. However, I will say that I am making progress in this area. When I first had surgery, it irritated the stew out of me for anyone to have to stop and eat.

#4. I feel loss for the ability to take a pill when my head hurts. Yes, I can still take one, but I'm not supposed to take ibuprofen, and acetaminophen doesn't really work. Plus, I have to time when I can take a pill so that it won't be too much in my stomach at one time. Yes, even a small pill can be too much and push me over the edge. I haven't thrown up yet, but the one time I really wanted to, I had taken my medicine after eating and it was too much!

#5. I feel a loss for bacon. I fixed bacon for the kids for breakfast this morning, and decided I would try some. Well, it was not my friend today. Now, I have had a few little bites here and there, but today I went for a whole piece. That was not the thing for me to do. I have had a tummy ache all day now. Bacon, I don't know why you would do a girl like that...I've been true to you! Oh well, I guess I'll try it again later, and if I don't do better, I will bid bacon goodbye!

Good Losses:
#1. Pounds! At the last "official" doctor's visit, I had lost 36# since Thanksgiving. I am averaging 3+# a week. BUT...I don't lose 3# every week. I have found that there is a lot that influences my weight, not eating enough calories, not eating enough protein, not drinking enough water, how much I exercise etc. So, I may lose 8# in 1 week, then nothing for 3. But, as long as the overall trend is downward, I am good.

#2. Inches! Sometimes, I am not losing "pounds" like I think I should, but I have noticed that I am losing inches. At the last "official" visit, I had lost 7 inches. I can tell it in my clothes a lot some days.  In fact, I had to buy some "soft pants" to wear around the house/gym last weekend. I previously wore a 4x, and at surgery time I could wear a 3x. I bought a 2x this time, and they fit great. I don't have to un-button my jeans to put them on now. :)

To answer the question I get from everyone,  I am doing great. I am the poster-child for a vertical sleeve gastrectomy. My post-op recovery has been great, and I have had not really had any major complications (except this recent bacon catastrophe). I have learned how to get my protein, water, and vitamins in at work. I don't feel deprived most days. And I would do it again in a heartbeat if I had to go back.


However, this weight loss is not the only area I have been journeying in lately. I have really been convicted by God to work on myself in so many other ways. We were blessed to spend most of last weekend at a family conference at our church, and I learned so much. However, I will have to post on that next time...I am sleepy, and now that I am old (Yes, I turned 40 on Monday). Let's just say, God is speaking to my soul now! I remember a song from my childhood that states it best:

He's still working on me
To make me what I need to be
It took him just a week to make the moon and stars
The sun and the earth and Jupiter and Mars
How loving and patient He must be
'Cause He's still workin' on me!

Until next time....