Love. The last 3 days have been focused on love. Mentions of the word abound. But what is love? Is it one thing, that fits nicely in a box? No, like most of the good things in life, it is not. But I am really feeling convicted about love, and my ways of showing and interpreting love.
According to Merriam-Webster, love is:
a (1) : strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties (maternal love for a child)
(2) : attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers
(3) : affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests <love for his old schoolmates>
b : an assurance of affection <give her my love>
2 : warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion <love of the sea>
3 a : the object of attachment, devotion, or admiration <baseball was his first love>
b (1) : a beloved person : darling —often used as a term of endearment
(2) British —used as an informal term of address
4 a : unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another: as
(1) : the fatherly concern of God for humankind
(2) : brotherly concern for others
b : a person's adoration of God
5 : a god or personification of love
6 : an amorous episode : love affair
7 : the sexual embrace : copulation
8 : a score of zero (as in tennis)
Wow. That is a lot. Love is a BIG thing in our world. We use the word all the time. For instance, Sadie and I LOVE this new coffee creamer I found. I LOVE my new earrings. But, is it the kind of word to throw around? And I think it is great that we have a holiday to celebrate it. However, I strongly feel that it is something we need to address every day. Just like we should feel the awe that Jesus died for us every day, the amazement that God sent him to us as a baby in a manger, and the thankfulness for all of our many blessings.
However, I do watch television, movies, and I am involved in social media. I realize that this doesn't happen for everyone. Not everyone has a spouse who makes every day feel like Valentine's Day, or are blessed with children who are generally sweet and good-hearted. Not everyone is blessed to have had an awesome mother, and two more women who you like they are your own, to still be a "Daddy's girl" at 40 years old, to have had step-dads that accept you and your family as their own. Not everyone knew the love of 4 great-grandparents, a plethora of aunts and uncles, and a multitude of cousins. That is not counting the friends who were made in elementary school, and are still there today.
There is a lot of hurt in this world, and I have decided I don't want to contribute. I want to be a person of love. I have started a Proverbs 31 Online Bible Study again, and I love it (see, I did it right there - without even thinking about it!). (Now, I must admit, I am behind, but I am saving all of the emails!) We are reading iKeep It Shut: What to Say, How to Say It, and When to Say Nothing at All by Karen Ehman. It is fabulous! I am learning so much.
Some truths this book has pointed out to me so far are:
1) Our words are powerful, and they have consequences. Well, this is like a slap in the face. I found out this morning that I said something to one of my dearest friends over 8 months ago, and hurt her horribly. I didn't intend to do it. I was sick at the time, and evidently, very thoughtless. So, for 8 months, this friend has suffered. And I have suffered too, because there has been a rift in our friendship, and I didn't know what caused it. Well, now I do, and to you whom I hurt, I apologize. I promise I never intended my words to hurt you.
2) Our tongue is a dangerous weapon. In James 3: 5-6 (HCSB), it says "So too, though the tongue is a small part of the body, it boasts great things. Consider how large a forest a small fire ignites. And the tongue is a fire. The tongue, a world of unrighteousness, is placed among the parts of our bodies. It pollutes the whole body, sets the course of life on fire, and is set on fire by hell." I mean, how many times do we spout off, and then wish we could take it back? Um, for me...about 10 times a day! I am sarcastic, and that is not always a good thing. In James 3: 7-8, it says, "Every sea creature, reptile, bird, or animal is tamed and has been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison." Yes, every animal can be tamed - but not MY tongue. This is a fact I know personally. James goes on to tell us, in verses 9-12, that a well cannot produce both sweet and bitter water, just like our tongue. We cannot spew words of praise one moment, and words of hurt the next. That doesn't work. And it doesn't show Jesus's love.
3) The words that come from out of our mouth have to come from our hearts first. Now, I have heard (and believed) this for years. If you say something jokingly that is hurtful, there is a grain of truth in there somewhere. It is how you feel in your heart. In Luke 6:45, Jesus HIMSELF says, "A good man produces good out of the good storeroom of his heart. An evil man produces evil out of the evil storeroom, for his mouth speaks from the overflow of the heart."Basically, words are not accidental, and in the above mentioned episode of hurt feelings, I must have had some bad feelings in my heart. And it hurts to say that, but I will admit it, and ask forgiveness.
4) How I use my words can often be traced back to the time I spend (or don't spend) with God. That is pretty self-explanatory. I need to spend time with God in order to be attuned to the Holy Spirit when He taps on my heart to tell me to be quiet. (Oh, if God would just use Duck Tape on my lips I would be much better off!)
Those 4 life truths were revealed to me in Chapter 1! And Chapter 2 got even better...
I am a person who makes her living by talking to people. I talk all day, every day. But I need to learn to listen, and to keep my mouth shut. I don't want my words to hurt the people I come in contact with daily. I want my husband and children to think of loving words. I want my friends to hear loving words. I want people to think of me, and love and kindness. And I believe that is what Jesus wants from us. When I spew words of unkindness, words of hatred, or words of judgement, it is coming from my heart. And I need to work on that.
So, to anyone I have hurt with my words, I am so sorry! Pray for me, and my ability to keep it shut when I should!
Blessings to you all...
Jolie
Sunday, February 15, 2015
Wednesday, February 4, 2015
Losses and Losses
So, this post will possibly (ok, PROBABLY...yeah, yeah - DEFINITELY) be more scattered than usual. I haven't posted in a while, and I have a lot of questions to answer, and a few things I just want to share with you.
First - The title. You see, I have learned in the past 8 weeks that there are losses, and then there are LOSSES. Yes, there are losses on the scale (Hallelujah!), but you know what, there are a lot more losses too... Good ones, and not so good ones.
Not so good losses: (in no particular order)
#1. I feel loss for Diet Pepsi. Yes, I KNOW that is stupid, but I do. There is the loss of being able to walk into a store and go right to "your drink." It stinks. I drink water now 95% of the time. But sometimes a girl needs something else, and water with lemon is lacking at times. I have found that I like purple G2, and the lemon Vitamin Water Zero, but I can never find them in a convenience store, so if you see me out with a cooler, please know I am BYOB'ing my G2 or water!
#2. I feel loss for eating as much as I want. This is a biggie. I didn't get to be my size by NOT loving food. I feel like I have always been pretty upfront about that. And they tell you that it can be an issue, but hearing and KNOWING are 2 different things. There are actually 2 aspects to this loss. First, there is the "I really like this and I want to eat more of it" side. I.e. - At Sunday brunch at KOK - I LOVED everything I ate. However, I was only able to eat 1-2 bites of each thing. And I was sad, disappointed, and a little mad. The Chinese buffet is torture, because who wants to eat 1 tiny piece of chicken, when there is A MILLION OTHER THINGS TO TRY! Second, there is the loss of actually eating. I know I only get a few bites every few hours, or I'll be sick, so I weigh my options very carefully. If I don't LOVE it, I don't want to eat it! Who wants to waist any of that 2 ounces on something that is just so-so? Not this girl, I tell you.
#3. I feel loss for meal times with my family. Dinner is an area I struggle with. I do pretty good most days, but at dinner, I don't always feel like eating. However, I have decided I am going to cook healthy and eat with my family. But, it really isn't "fun" to eat anymore. I have to force myself to sit at the table after I finish eating. In fact, they are occasionally still trying to get seconds when I am already up clearing the table. However, I will say that I am making progress in this area. When I first had surgery, it irritated the stew out of me for anyone to have to stop and eat.
#4. I feel loss for the ability to take a pill when my head hurts. Yes, I can still take one, but I'm not supposed to take ibuprofen, and acetaminophen doesn't really work. Plus, I have to time when I can take a pill so that it won't be too much in my stomach at one time. Yes, even a small pill can be too much and push me over the edge. I haven't thrown up yet, but the one time I really wanted to, I had taken my medicine after eating and it was too much!
#5. I feel a loss for bacon. I fixed bacon for the kids for breakfast this morning, and decided I would try some. Well, it was not my friend today. Now, I have had a few little bites here and there, but today I went for a whole piece. That was not the thing for me to do. I have had a tummy ache all day now. Bacon, I don't know why you would do a girl like that...I've been true to you! Oh well, I guess I'll try it again later, and if I don't do better, I will bid bacon goodbye!
Good Losses:
#1. Pounds! At the last "official" doctor's visit, I had lost 36# since Thanksgiving. I am averaging 3+# a week. BUT...I don't lose 3# every week. I have found that there is a lot that influences my weight, not eating enough calories, not eating enough protein, not drinking enough water, how much I exercise etc. So, I may lose 8# in 1 week, then nothing for 3. But, as long as the overall trend is downward, I am good.
#2. Inches! Sometimes, I am not losing "pounds" like I think I should, but I have noticed that I am losing inches. At the last "official" visit, I had lost 7 inches. I can tell it in my clothes a lot some days. In fact, I had to buy some "soft pants" to wear around the house/gym last weekend. I previously wore a 4x, and at surgery time I could wear a 3x. I bought a 2x this time, and they fit great. I don't have to un-button my jeans to put them on now. :)
To answer the question I get from everyone, I am doing great. I am the poster-child for a vertical sleeve gastrectomy. My post-op recovery has been great, and I have had not really had any major complications (except this recent bacon catastrophe). I have learned how to get my protein, water, and vitamins in at work. I don't feel deprived most days. And I would do it again in a heartbeat if I had to go back.
However, this weight loss is not the only area I have been journeying in lately. I have really been convicted by God to work on myself in so many other ways. We were blessed to spend most of last weekend at a family conference at our church, and I learned so much. However, I will have to post on that next time...I am sleepy, and now that I am old (Yes, I turned 40 on Monday). Let's just say, God is speaking to my soul now! I remember a song from my childhood that states it best:
He's still working on me
To make me what I need to be
It took him just a week to make the moon and stars
The sun and the earth and Jupiter and Mars
How loving and patient He must be
'Cause He's still workin' on me!
Until next time....
First - The title. You see, I have learned in the past 8 weeks that there are losses, and then there are LOSSES. Yes, there are losses on the scale (Hallelujah!), but you know what, there are a lot more losses too... Good ones, and not so good ones.
Not so good losses: (in no particular order)
#1. I feel loss for Diet Pepsi. Yes, I KNOW that is stupid, but I do. There is the loss of being able to walk into a store and go right to "your drink." It stinks. I drink water now 95% of the time. But sometimes a girl needs something else, and water with lemon is lacking at times. I have found that I like purple G2, and the lemon Vitamin Water Zero, but I can never find them in a convenience store, so if you see me out with a cooler, please know I am BYOB'ing my G2 or water!
#2. I feel loss for eating as much as I want. This is a biggie. I didn't get to be my size by NOT loving food. I feel like I have always been pretty upfront about that. And they tell you that it can be an issue, but hearing and KNOWING are 2 different things. There are actually 2 aspects to this loss. First, there is the "I really like this and I want to eat more of it" side. I.e. - At Sunday brunch at KOK - I LOVED everything I ate. However, I was only able to eat 1-2 bites of each thing. And I was sad, disappointed, and a little mad. The Chinese buffet is torture, because who wants to eat 1 tiny piece of chicken, when there is A MILLION OTHER THINGS TO TRY! Second, there is the loss of actually eating. I know I only get a few bites every few hours, or I'll be sick, so I weigh my options very carefully. If I don't LOVE it, I don't want to eat it! Who wants to waist any of that 2 ounces on something that is just so-so? Not this girl, I tell you.
#3. I feel loss for meal times with my family. Dinner is an area I struggle with. I do pretty good most days, but at dinner, I don't always feel like eating. However, I have decided I am going to cook healthy and eat with my family. But, it really isn't "fun" to eat anymore. I have to force myself to sit at the table after I finish eating. In fact, they are occasionally still trying to get seconds when I am already up clearing the table. However, I will say that I am making progress in this area. When I first had surgery, it irritated the stew out of me for anyone to have to stop and eat.
#4. I feel loss for the ability to take a pill when my head hurts. Yes, I can still take one, but I'm not supposed to take ibuprofen, and acetaminophen doesn't really work. Plus, I have to time when I can take a pill so that it won't be too much in my stomach at one time. Yes, even a small pill can be too much and push me over the edge. I haven't thrown up yet, but the one time I really wanted to, I had taken my medicine after eating and it was too much!
#5. I feel a loss for bacon. I fixed bacon for the kids for breakfast this morning, and decided I would try some. Well, it was not my friend today. Now, I have had a few little bites here and there, but today I went for a whole piece. That was not the thing for me to do. I have had a tummy ache all day now. Bacon, I don't know why you would do a girl like that...I've been true to you! Oh well, I guess I'll try it again later, and if I don't do better, I will bid bacon goodbye!
Good Losses:
#1. Pounds! At the last "official" doctor's visit, I had lost 36# since Thanksgiving. I am averaging 3+# a week. BUT...I don't lose 3# every week. I have found that there is a lot that influences my weight, not eating enough calories, not eating enough protein, not drinking enough water, how much I exercise etc. So, I may lose 8# in 1 week, then nothing for 3. But, as long as the overall trend is downward, I am good.
#2. Inches! Sometimes, I am not losing "pounds" like I think I should, but I have noticed that I am losing inches. At the last "official" visit, I had lost 7 inches. I can tell it in my clothes a lot some days. In fact, I had to buy some "soft pants" to wear around the house/gym last weekend. I previously wore a 4x, and at surgery time I could wear a 3x. I bought a 2x this time, and they fit great. I don't have to un-button my jeans to put them on now. :)
To answer the question I get from everyone, I am doing great. I am the poster-child for a vertical sleeve gastrectomy. My post-op recovery has been great, and I have had not really had any major complications (except this recent bacon catastrophe). I have learned how to get my protein, water, and vitamins in at work. I don't feel deprived most days. And I would do it again in a heartbeat if I had to go back.
However, this weight loss is not the only area I have been journeying in lately. I have really been convicted by God to work on myself in so many other ways. We were blessed to spend most of last weekend at a family conference at our church, and I learned so much. However, I will have to post on that next time...I am sleepy, and now that I am old (Yes, I turned 40 on Monday). Let's just say, God is speaking to my soul now! I remember a song from my childhood that states it best:
He's still working on me
To make me what I need to be
It took him just a week to make the moon and stars
The sun and the earth and Jupiter and Mars
How loving and patient He must be
'Cause He's still workin' on me!
Until next time....
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