"Come to Me, all who are weary, and I will give you rest"

I have tossed around a lot of ideas of things to say, but so many of them are the same old thing. And that is boring. I don't like to be boring. God has been working on me, and I know that He has something BIG to share with me, but I am really not sure what it is yet. I have been waiting on the revelation to post. 

But tonight, in my Bible study and prayer, God led me to read Matthew 11: 28 -  

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." 

Rest. What is that?  Rest: Verb - cease work or movement in order to relax, refresh oneself, or recover strength (American Heritage dictionary). Do we rest? Do you rest? I am lazy at times, but I don't know if I would call it true rest. I know that when I look at my calendar for this month, rest is not what I see. Today, as I was preparing for the week ahead, I see 3 baseball games, Running Club, Science Club, 5th Grade MCT2 Science test, several IEP meetings, RTI things that need to be done, laundry, and feeding us. Those are the "necessary" items. Yes, I am "that mom." The one with the calendar. The one who puts EVERYTHING on the calendar. And if it isn't on the calendar, it doesn't happen. (Don't look at me like that - you know you are "that mom" too!) Others that I would like to see on the calendar are exercise (well, it is there, but it is double booked with baseball this week), fun family time, reading, visiting with friends. Wow. I get a little overwhelmed by typing that, let alone trying to plan for it. But Jesus said, I can come to Him if I am weary and burdened. Do I do that? No. Not really. Do I put time with Jesus on my calendar? No. Well, why not? Do I set my alarm early to spend time with Jesus? Yep. I do. But I also hit the snooze button. Now, how can Jesus help ME if I don't let Him? How can He lift these burdens off of me if I am hanging onto them for DEAR LIFE? 

Well, tonight I am tired. I am giving the burdens to Jesus. I am setting the alarm clock, and praying that God will wake me up.  (And, just FYI - I have learned that if you pray that prayer, you better mean it - because He WILL do it!). And I am going to learn more about living in Jesus. I am going to spend time with Jesus. 

Jesus, please give me REST. Take this calendar, and show me how to prioritize. Wake me up, and allow me to spend time with You. Lord, I am weary, and burdened with this calendar, these obligations, and this busy, busy time of year. Help me to enjoy it, rather than feel overwhelmed. Help me to lead my family with grace and understanding, when things don't go as planned, but most of all, help me to look to You for strength and rest! 

Amen!

Keeping on Keeping On

Well, there isn't much going on here lately. Well, except that I have been locked out of my Google account for a little over 2 weeks. I forgot the password, and just now figured out how to reset it. It is really hard being a blonde sometimes!

As for weight loss, well, it has been minimal. I am have noticed that for the last 2-3 months things seem to be very cyclical with me. I will lose weight (typically 7-8 pounds) for 2 weeks, then I stall for 2 weeks. This is so very frustrating! Of course, I will admit that I know I am not exercising like I should. But, this is a new week.

I have had several friends encourage me to try some new, different things. One of those is Advocare. Now, you know I can be a little skeptical, and Dan Reid is the king of all skeptics. But, I am trying the Spark, and have been pleasantly surprised. It seems to really help me focus. It is a productive energy, rather than a nervous energy. I have also tried the Slam energy shot, and I liked it too. It wasn't too much. That being said, I may try adding some more of their products into the mix in the next few weeks. I still need to be actively losing. I'll keep you updated on how that works.

It's funny, I have 2 countdown clocks on my phone. One is for the end of school. (FYI - 46 days until the kids are out). And one for my surgery - 57 days. AGHH! That freaks me out a little. Which I find odd, as I was already psyched up and ready for surgery in February.

And for those of you who have to see me on a daily basis, you will be proud to know I have started a "I really just cannot continue to wear these too big clothes" pile. That being said, I am down to 1 pair of black capris, 1 pair of khakis, and 1 pair of jeans. There aren't that many more tops, either. So, I apologize. It will eventually get better!

Oh, and one last thought...I am doing 2 Bible studies right now. I am reading/working through Beth Moore's A Heart Like His, which is so AWESOME. And I am starting a new Proverbs 31 Online Bible Study called Living So That by Wendy Blight. I'll keep you updated on those too.

Have a blessed week!

God Speaks Through Social Media

"God speaks through social media?" Jolie has lost her ever-loving mind. I can hear you all saying that. I don't disagree. But He did speak to me today in several ways, and I can't wait to share it with you! God is awesome! (Sung to the tune of "Everything is Awesome" from The Lego Movie).

Back-story - I am having a small flare up of the cellulitis that put me in the hospital 2 years ago. So, I had to go to the doctor for some antibiotics today. While I was waiting 2 things happened.

1. I was on Facebook, and I saw this post from The Praying Woman - "Your stumbling block will become your stepping stone. Watch God turn it around." Wow. Pretty profound. That really touched my heart. 
2. The AWESOME nurse practitioner at my doctor's office came out to the waiting room to chat with me while I waited. (We bonded during that fateful incident 2 years ago - see above). Well, as I was talking to her about my weight loss and exercise, I told her about the book Made to Crave, and referenced my favorite verse - 1 Corinthians 10:23 - Everything is permissible, but not all things are beneficial. I explained how that had really freed my soul to food, because it showed that I CAN eat what I want, but it might not be beneficial to me. 

Then, I saw the doctor, and talked to her about my journey and the Bible Study, got my prescriptions (and a pat on the back for the weight loss), and went back to work.

But I just kept thinking about that statement from Facebook. God could use my stumbling block for a stepping stone? Hmmm...Then I realized. God IS USING my STUMBLING BLOCK as a STEPPING STONE! Yes. Food is my stumbling block. Lack of self-control is my stumbling block. But through this journey, God has used it to teach me things about myself I never would have known. And not only that - Now I have a way to tell people how God has worked in my life. I have never been one who felt "worthy" to talk about God a lot. But, today, I shared how God has worked in my life with 3 women. And didn't bat an eye. I was so excited to list all of the changes in my life, and that the main thing I have done differently this time is to include God in the journey.

Then, I was browsing around on Pinterest, and saw this:

Wow. Isn't that essentially what God had told me earlier? Don't be ashamed of that stumbling block, use it as a stepping stone on how HE has made a difference.

Finally, I started reading my new book, A Heart Like His, by Beth Moore. It is a study of the life of David. And I journaled pages and pages about that, let me tell you! But the gist of chapter 1 was this: God CHOSE David. It was not a coincidence. It was purposeful. He chose a lowly shepherd to lead His people. And God chose me. I have always believed God chose me to be a speech pathologist, because I absolutely adore my profession! But maybe God chose me for something else. Maybe He chose me to have the weight problem, so that I can witness to others in the same place. That lonely, empty, forlorn place where you think there is no hope. Because there is hope. I am living proof (and 50+ pounds less of living proof). Last March, I would have NEVER seen myself here. It was God's plan, and God's strength.

That said, I am going to leave you with some throwback music.  All this talk of God choosing David reminded me of one of my favorite songs from my youth. Here is a little Ray Boltz and "Shepherd Boy."

Blessings to you, my friends!

Miles and miles

Happy Spring Break, friends! This is morning #2, and I am NOT lighting the world on fire like I had planned today! You see, there is something about not being in school that makes me want to stay up all night reading and sleep all day. So, yes, I stayed up late reading last night. I got up with good intentions on going to the Wellness Center prior to starting my day, but...It didn't happen. Now I am procrastinating a shower. If it were not for horrible roots, and the need for some love from the world's best hairdresser, I would be going back to bed!

Now, for a brief word about my title today. Last night, I went to the Wellness Center a little frustrated. I overslept yesterday and missed Aqua Zumba, which we all know I love. Then, I fell victim to the time change, forgot to change the clock in my van, and missed my aqua aerobics at 5:30. Continuing on with the theme of the day, Dan and I had a miscommunication, and it ended up being late when I went to the gym. And I was a "little" frustrated when I got there. But I didn't let that stop me. I used it to my advantage, got on that treadmill, and walked! And Walked! And Walked some more. 2 miles. Now, I know for a lot of my friends, you are just warming up in 2 miles. But this was the first time I ever did it. It was a little over 3k, and I have a goal of walking a 5k. I didn't really set a time frame, but now I actually feel like that goal is in reach! Maybe GumTree? I don't know, though. I am still VERY apprehensive about doing it. It might take me 40 forevers to finish!

Oh - And FYI -

83 Days Until Surgery!!!

A Week Later

Well, I should be 1 week post-op now, and it didn't happen. Oh well. In His time not mine. The past few weeks have been rough on me. I have had a pity party, and jumped off the wagon with both feet. Well, not both feet, but I did have a cupcake at school last week when a sweet boy wanted to share. And I did succumb to a Diet Pepsi or 2 over the weekend. But, I didn't buy any to bring home, and I drank them in moderation.

Today, I had a little time to do some catch-up reading on my Made To Crave book. (I had gotten a wee bit behind.) Guess what. I realized what has been wrong with me this past week or so. I haven't been reading and studying the Bible. I haven't been praying. I guess I was having a little passive-aggressive disagreement with God. Because I am NOT happy about waiting. I am doing it, but I don't like it. And oh boy, did God open my eyes and step on my toes today! They are ALL bruised up!

Now, I have had the hardest time ever figuring out how to "study" the Bible, and this book. Seriously. (Yeah, I know - Master's degree and doesn't know how to "study the Bible.") Well, I finally decided that for me it would work best to study it like I would anything else. Reading, and taking notes on what I read. So, I found this fun little on-line journal (penzu.com). There's even an app for it. And I have been reading and journaling, especially throughout the Made to Crave book study. So, tonight I am going to share a few things I found VERY important in my reading. Lysa Terkeurst really has some awesome insights into this whole eating thing!

Chapter 13: Overindulgence
Now, let me preface this by saying if you are a Baptist (or any other Southern denomination), you may get your toes stepped on here. She talked about gluttony in the church. What, you say? Gluttony in the church? Yep. The pot-luck meal where we stuff ourselves. You know, the one that is best on Sunday after church. That one. But she also talks about overindulgence in anything (food, alcohol, etc.) is gluttony. Proverbs 23:20 -21 says, "Do not join those who drink too much wine or gorge on themselves on meat, for drunkards and gluttons become poor, and drowsiness clothes them in rags." Well, FYI - This was me. I gorged. And guess what. Not because I was hungry, but because I was looking for something to fill myself up because I was spiritually empty.

So, with that said, what do we do? Food is not alcohol or nicotine. I can't quit cold-turkey. It is a requirement. With that said, Lysa reminded me of the Isrealites. Remember them? We studied about them in Truth Trackers earlier this year. The Isrealites, who complained of slavery, so God set them free. Then, they complained because they were hungry, and God provided them with the manna from heaven? Well, if you go back and read in Exodus 16, you will see that God commanded the Isrealites to only gather enough manna for one day. The only day they could gather more was the day before the Sabbath, then they could gather two days worth of manna. Well, these complainers started gathering as much as they could, even though it was provided fresh for them every day. (Can you imagine - no grocery stores? Just walking outside and picking up what you needed to eat? Not a horrible situation!) But I digress. Anyway, so they are gathering up all of this manna, and you know what happened? It rotted. Moldy, nasty manna. When there was all they could eat provided fresh for them each day. Now, why did this happen? Well, today's reading really opened my eyes. God wanted them to learn to depend on Him DAILY. God will provide DAILY what we need. Not go to church on Sunday, gather what we can, and spread it out through the week. God wants us to need Him, Want him, and desire Him DAILY.  In Lamentations 3:22 it says, "Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for HIS compassions NEVER fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness, I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; there I will wait for him."

 Hmmm....The Lord is my portion. My portion of love. My portion of food. My portion of everything I need. I need portion control, and God is there to provide it for me. All I have to do is ask and trust. I saw this on Pinterest today, and I really thought it summed this up:

 

He is my portion! He will provide the self control!

Blah, blah, blah

Well, I have really felt like I should post every night this week, but I actually don't have much to say. Nothing funny, or cute, or even interesting. In fact, I feel blah this week. I think it is a little depression, and some leftover disappointment.

Now, I KNOW that the timing will be better in June. I KNOW this in my heart of hearts, but when I saw that countdown calendar on my clock go from 5 days to 100+ days, a little bit of my heart broke. Well, cracked, anyway. Not broken. I just have to find my "get up and go" again.

I woke up yesterday, and asked Dan if I could call into work "disappointed." We didn't think that would fly, so I went on in. However, I didn't even make it to my room before Sadie got sick. She had a migraine, and it snowballed. We ended up at the doctor, and then the imaging center for a head CT, then the eye doctor. Yeah, she needs glasses now! So, no, I didn't have time for surgery and kids and school all at once.

I also have just physically not been 100% this week. My feet are swelling, and I haven't had that happen in a long time! And I can't figure out why, because all I drink is water and the occasional protein shake. (FYI - I have been drinking at least 90 ounces of water a day!) I have not given in and had a Diet Pepsi! That is a victory this week. 

Anyway, I am taking a few "sad" days, but I am still trying to watch what I am eating. I am tossing around a few ideas to kick-start this next 20 pounds. I CAN do this. I WILL do this. I MUST do this. (Can you tell, that is my pep-talk for me?)

Thanks for reading my pity-party tonight. I'll try to do better next time!

FYI - Per my countdown calendar, it is 96 days until my surgery! Yay!!!

Have a blessed week.

A Totally Different Plan

Well, I sit here tonight with a full belly. (Well, it ought to be full, I ate my dinner. But as Sadie and Katniss Everdeen say, this is an "empty day." This is so not where I thought I would be a week ago. I envisioned myself packed up for surgery, getting ready to have a day of clear liquids and antibiotics, not writing lesson plans and getting lunches ready for school. But things change. It is is God's time, not mine.

That being said, this post is probably going to be a little scattered, as there are several things I want to touch on.

1. Friday afternoon, we took the kids and went to dinner very early. Like, 4:00 p.m. As soon as I got out of school. We went to Outback, and it was great! When we were leaving, we ran into my oldest friend and her family (mother, sister, husband, father - all of them). It was great to take a few minutes and catch up. We were all leaving at the same time, and I just have to say I noticed the funniest thing. As I sat in my white mini-van, with my husband in a plaid shirt driving, with my daughter and son in the backseat, I watched my BFF from 4th grade through college pull out. In her white mini-van. With her husband in a plaid shirt driving. With her son and daughter in the backseat. Our friends from high school who all said we would grow up and live together would have never let us live that down!
(Random, I know, but funny in my world.)

2. Dan is really taking this "postponement" seriously. You see, I sent him a text on Thursday that basically said "No surgery. Take me out to eat somewhere bad." Well, he was here to be my strength this weekend. On Thursday night, he cooked me an egg white omelet for dinner. (I had asked for grilled cheese.) He did take me out on Friday, but we all ate sensibly. Then, on both Saturday and Sunday mornings he has made me healthy food. Friday, when he kissed me goodbye, he made me promise not to eat bad. So I promised. Then, I got to school and ate a sausage and biscuit. Oohhh...It was not nice. After egg whites and protein drinks for breakfast, that was too much. I was miserable all morning. (But I only drank a shake and ate some peanuts for lunch to make up for it!) I love that he is so encouraging to me! Even when I am a grumpy cat. I also love that he cooks me breakfast on the weekends. :)

3. A neat "God note:" Last Tuesday at school, one of my Lawndale mom-friends came by to bring me some protein powder and a hug of support,. Then, that Tuesday night, God placed a friend at the soccer field. We have not visited in ages, but got a nice visit in during the game. Then, on Wednesday, a few family members called just to check on me. People I haven't talked to in a while. At church Wednesday night, I was blessed to have a few minutes to talk to some friends about the surgery, and what was coming up. (You see, I believe God was showing me that He has placed people here to support me during this. He knew what was coming, even though I didn't.) Thursday, prior to making the "fateful trip" to the doctor, I called Dan, and he spoke sensibly to me about possibilities of rescheduling. Then, on Thursday afternoon, I found out that another acquaintance is going through the exact same thing, and is having to postpone her surgery as well. Then, he placed my "surrogate family" from childhood and I at the same restaurant on Friday afternoon. Friday night, I got to fellowship with some friends from church again, and received untold support. Saturday, another old friend contacted me. Coincidence? I think not. God is showing me that He has a plan. He is in control. He knew I would be down, and disappointed, so he provided me with a long list of godly women to be there as my support. Wow! All of that trouble for me!

4. One more random fact. As I was helping Jon Carter with his report on John F. Kennedy, we came to a mention of the James Meredith incident at Ole Miss. I vaguely remembered my Baby Dot talking about it at a gathering, but couldn't remember what she said. So, I called her, and she told me that my grandfather had been in the National Guard during that time, and that he had been sent to Ole Miss during the riots. (Those of you who know me, know that I am not a history buff, but that is cool to me.) She told me about him not having any ammunition in his guns, and having to just take the abuse from the protesters. She then also told me about his time in Korea. Here I am, 39 years old, learning new stories about my Granddaddy.

Have a great week guys! It will be a busy one for the Reids, as all "cancelled" activities are back on the schedule!